Let’s have a quick chat & tell me if this speaks to you.
Some of us are where we want to be in things and in life and in this business and some aren’t. I’d say many aren’t. I want to be better and do more just like everyone else.
This is either a time of awesome celebration or a time of reflection in missing our mark or somewhere in between. In no way is this memo to beat anyone up for not getting what they wanted or where they wanted to go. 100% to the contrary. This note is to enlighten and empower you to see more wonderful times, more gains in your business, and an even more harmonious you for the new year.
That said, there are some deep and/or challenging questions to ponder.
And also solutions and a road map to get where you want to go! It’s a given that we want a nice life and the creature comforts. At some point, you were introduced your career, for many of my readers, they were introduced to becoming a Team Beachbody Coach by one of us, saw something in it as a way to your goals and dreams.
I’ve found that so many people tend to be in cruise control on life. Ponder that for a moment.
Are you where you want to be? Are you in the place in life where you have the freedom financially and time wise to do what you want, when you want to do it? The ability to give and donate? The ability to take a couple weeks off for the Holidays? The ability to take time off for the people who matter most in your life?
Either what you’re doing in life is getting you to your goals or not.
That’s pretty powerful stuff when you think about it.
For many of us, we are looking back on 2015, thinking about what we did well and what we wish had gone better. I know first hand what this is like as I’m no different than anyone in wanting to get more out of life and realizing the difference between being content and being complacent. Contentment is everything you want it to be. It’s harmony in your life. Complacency is poisonous. So is indifference.
Contentment is coming home from a hard day’s work or effort or completing a project or crossing off the X on the calendar for the workout you did. Contentment is the feeling of joy when you have a great time doing something with your loved ones (you know hose times when we put the phone away and are fully present in the moment).
That feels right and just.
Complacency is not caring enough about your situation to do something about it. Call that detachment. Some might call it narcisism. Call it wearing a mask. Call it whatever you want, Juliet said, “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. In the case of complacency, the foul stench would render us unconscious.
In looking back, I find that I tend to put everyone else first. My greatest strengths are my greatest weaknesses in that I don’t need any help and I’ll figure it all out. I’m self motivated, driven to succeed, and don’t need to stand on stage or get a trophy to do so (the recognition used to motivate me but that stopped when I realized that’s not where the victory was. The victory was and is in the lives changed for the better; it’s not about me).
I know what I want, I have conviction about what I do, and work as smart and hard as possible. In tumultuous situations, it’s easy to put all of our focus and attention there. It’s kind of like the screaming baby in the movie theater last night that the parent didn’t seem to think needed to exit for the benefit of the 500 other people sharing that space; very easy to put our focus on the loud noise or shiny object distracting us.
The last year or so of my life has been fraught with a tough time in marriage. We kept this mostly private, talked around it at times and confided in a very select few friends for their love, support, and counsel. I feel it’s important to share as I’ve never had anything hinder me in building my business; not in real estate or as a Beachbody Coach. I’ve had injuries, surgeries, my dad passed away, we went bankrupt, lost everything we owned, but still made it happen. In fact, my Beachbody coaching business was born in the most challenging time preceding this which was the year of the market crash, 2008. When I found that my marriage was in trouble, that was my new front burner issue and where all of my focus went. Kelley and the kids mean more to me than any business ever will and over time, things got out of balance, somethings never dealt with, and the compound effect of that added up to “we have a problem”.
I share that to say this, when I look back at my last year of life I see tremendous victories and incredibly hard times. While my business didn’t grow this year by 30%, 75%, 200%, or 500% as it has in years past, it didn’t take a hit either. How crazy is it that most jobs shoot for a cost of living increase at best 3%. It was a year off of my compound effect to nurture what meant the most. Our marriage is doing much better and that came with a ton of work, love, patience and more by both of us. Scarier yet would have been two people who wanted to give up.
The victories are in all of the life lessons learned, the peace inside our house, the love that is growing exponentially, and unmistakeable from the lessons of failure and the openness to what is. The victories are also in my openness and willingness to share with others in an effort to relate and add value to their lives.
There’s some false sense of security in leaving things be. Many people fear change and many are not open to questioning things. My intent isn’t to have someone stir up trouble in their life, rather to look at their life and be open to the possibilities that they can be even happier and more peaceful and present in each moment.
F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real
Why not be more proactive and read great books on marriage and relationships. I’m happy to share my book list on this topic or any personal growth topic or business challenge that seems to be most relevant to what you have going on in your life.
In order to see growth in my business or your business you have to have a business plan; for a Team Beachbody Coach, this looks like doing the three vital behaviors daily, choosing your offense on where you want to run your biz, AND also doing business development. Personal development is crucial but business development is also as vital. As I’ve said countless times before, “Success leaves clues”. We don’t want to mimic our broke and inconsistent relative or friend, we want to mimic the traits and behaviors (in our own authentic ways) of successful (while ethical) people who are where we want and/or doing what we want but at a higher level. If you’re a professional in another line of work, I still advocate working as hard as you will on you and having a clear understanding of what your daily vital behaviors are. Think of it in terms of your rule of 5. What are the five things you need to do each day to be successful? So many do their busy work, but for things to change, something has to give. What is that for you? A new approach? A mentor? Asking for help? Taking your ego out of the equation? It’s been an amazing thing to witness the benefit all of this has been to my friends who are Attorneys, Realtors, Doctors, Retail Store Owners et al. Do you ever wonder why some otherwise solid looking businesses folded? Oftentimes it’s not the economy and it’s not the person in office, it’s the person who owns and runs that business. They are the leader of that organization and it starts and stops with them. This might be you.
We didn’t come into this world with knowledge or insights or perspectives. Those were learned. Or not. We should always have a thirst to learn!
“Show me your 5 friends and I’ll show you your future” is a deeply profound old truth. So is “show me the last five books you read” or tell me about the last seminars you attended and you now grasp the beginning of how I think and approach my business and personal life. Some of you did the work and are seeing tremendous growth, some didn’t do the work and are no further along. Some did many of the important things but missed enough phase one activities. There are only about 5 or 6 things we need to do in a day to be successful. When we are of by one important thing, we don’t unlock it.
I’m looking back on the last year and the last number of years as to what went my way and what didn’t. It’s New Year’s Eve. Most of the free world is contemplating this to some degree. The most success I’ve seen in my life came as a result of the compound effect of my actions. When taking the right actions, all of them, consistently, the compound effect adds up and we see amazing results. It’s no different than ourfitness. We didn’t get ripped and lean by working out a few times amonth or even a few times a week. We had to get to a five or six day a week routine. When comparing and contrasting this business to a Beachbody workout program, consider and remember a few things: it’s a system that was well laid out and fairly prescriptive. How well someone follows it shows direct physical evidence in terms of results. If a coach wakes up to wing it that day and really doesn’t have a business plan on what to do each day and how they are going to do it, it’s no wonder that the results didn’t occur. The compound effect is working regardless, so the question is do you want it to work in your favor or against you?
I hired a new consultant to help me sort out my business and opine on what I’ve done well, where I can be better, and any outside perspective to help me grow, as me growing means and equates to many many people standing to benefit. He said the same thing my life coach/counselor said, “it’s easy for me to look from the outside in as I’m not emotionally invested in your situation, so it’s easy to see the fixes”.
We are all emotionally invested in ourselves and that can be a heck of a block at times when we find ourselves struggling. When we are in the midst of success, we tend not to study what’s going on so much and just ride the wave. That’s human nature and why one of my attorneys in a real estate deal gone bad told me once, “ Mike, you’ll learn infinitely more from your failures that you ever will your successes.” He also told me I could get busy fighting or get busy making money but I couldn’t do both.
We want our cake and want to eat it too. But it doesn’t work like that.
We are a ball of energy and have amazing capabilities to do the most wonderful things in life. If we turn to our dark side, it’s the same energy but focused on the bad.
We are the sum of our thoughts.
As you are sitting down to write out your goals for this new year, remember a few things; have a clear idea of what exactly you want, keep adding to your list and expanding on things regardless if it’s Jan 1 or the middle of spring or summer. Your list should have many micro details, because broad generalities won’t do it. Saying you want to lose weight isn’t a goal. Saying you want to lose 15 pounds by Valentine’s day is however, a goal.
In my most sincere place of the heart, I hope that you take the time to contemplate the things that will truly bring joy and value to your life. You have to love yourself and take care of yourself to be good for those around you. Lead by example and be patient with those around you as they might have different goals. Your journey will inspire them over time and make a difference!